From Frustration To Freedom - Greater Persuasion & Influence - Dealing With Low Energy
Author
Damon Cart
Date
Jan 19, 2017
Tags
General tips
Content
Author
For Video Link: CLICK HERE! From Frustration To Freedom
I was hosting a NLP practice session today and we were practicing Core Transformation. Mark Andreas came last year to NLP Gym to teach it to us and I find it to be one of the best NLP models I've studied and it's fun and easy to use. If you've been to my practice sessions you know I don't do much teaching. I practice and I have people practice on me. I want to have fun too. I had one of the attendees bring me through the first part of Core Transformation and I used a real problem I'm dealing with, something that's really frustrating. It suddenly became clear that the source of my frustration had to do with either demands that I perceived as coming from some outside source or demands I put on myself and feeling like I couldn't meet the demands. Come to think of it, nearly every time I've felt frustrated it's because I couldn't meet a demand or maybe I could but I hated that it was being demanded of me. Think about times you get frustrated. What is the source of the frustration? What is your positive intent for feeling frustrated? Is it because someone is demanding something from you or are you demanding something of yourself? Imagine what it would be like to step out from underneath the demands and be free of this burden. If life for you is a constant loop of demand and deliver, demand and deliver, you're going to be very frustrated. Being demanded to do something doesn't feel good even when you can meet the demand. The only reward is not really a reward. You get relief when you meet a demand and it doesn't last because you just demand more of yourself or someone demands more of you. There's very little satisfaction or fulfillment. Take a frustrating situation and understand that it's this feeling of being demanded of that is frustrating you and ask yourself what it would be like to be able to function in that situation without being demanded of. Replace demand with potential. What would it be like to act, create, and work because you see the potential of what you can create rather than the demand to create? For example, if you have a boss that demands you sale 30 units a month. Instead of thinking of this as a quota, think of it as something that already exists as potential and is just waiting for you to step into and make it happen. If you're demanding something from yourself, what would it be like if the demand went away and you replaced it with recognizing the potential of what you could create, do, or have? True freedom is not the freedom to do whatever you want or as Janis Joplin sang it "Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose." That's a very self-destructive type of freedom and I don't recommend it. The type of freedom I'm talking about is freedom to live and actualize your potential. It is the hero's journey.
For Video Link: CLICK HERE! Understand These 2 Simple Words For Greater Influence & Persuasion When I explain what Neuro Linguistic Programming is to people I find the hardest part is explaining the importance of language and how it affects experience. The best way to understand NLP is to experience it and it takes a lot of experiencing NLP to really understand it. Now go back over that sentence and notice the word that connects the two main ideas. It's the word "and". How do you represent that sentence in sensory experience? What do you see or hear, in other words, to understand what the sentence means. Most people don't realize they represent words with sensory experience. We tend to think that we define words as we read them or hear them but if we did that it would take a long time to process and respond. Take a simple sentence like "Come downstairs and eat dinner." As soon as you read it or hear it you know exactly what it means and you can respond within seconds. If you had to resort to looking up every word in the dictionary in your mind and then combine the meanings to understand the complete idea of the entire sentence it would take several minutes to respond. When you see the word "downstairs" do you see the bottom of a staircase? Do you hear the sound of someone walking downstairs? Do you feel stairs under your feet as if you're walking down them? This happens quickly as you read or hear words, but you can slow it down and notice how you know and understand the words. What happens when you encounter words like "and" and "but"? What does that do in your experience? What happens in your experience when I switch out "and" for "but" in the sentence "The best way to understand NLP is to experience it but it takes a lot of experiencing NLP to really understand it."? My experience is that when I use the word "but" it suddenly seems like there's an obstacle that must be overcome. In a way it makes it seem harder or more challenging to understand NLP. You may have a different experience. Either way though your experience should be different than when you read it with the word "and". The word but tends to negate what comes before it. Be aware of this. It doesn't mean you should never use the word but. Just know how it can change the meaning and influence experience. If you're in sales and you say to a potential client "This widget is top of the line but it's expensive" you may have created a challenge for your prospect or you may negate the importance of the widget being top of the line in the mind of your prospect so be careful. What happens when you replace but with and? "This widget is top of the line and it's expensive." When you use and it actually seems to add to the value of the widget, at least in my experience. Again your experience may be different. You could also flip the sentence and use "but" to negate that it's expensive. "This widget is expensive, but it's top of the line." In my experience the fact that the widget is expensive is justifiable because after all it is top of the line. What happens in your experience? Get to know and understand who you're persuading or influencing. If they like a challenge they will respond well to you creating obstacles to what you're offering. Sometimes even taking it away from them will increase their desire for it. "This widget is top of the line, but it's expensive and it might not be in your budget." I used to do this with really expensive life insurance policies and I had to be careful because some people wanted the Cadillac policy so bad, when they couldn't afford it, that they didn't even want the more affordable policy. Not everyone is like that though. For some people they will want you to gently walk them over the threshold to the sale. Using and, you can introduce what might be one of their objections smoothly and keep the sales process going and give them the feeling that you've already addressed their objection. Of course you can use this for more than just sales. Take notice of when you use the words "but" and "and" and play with switching them up and notice how this affects your experience and notice how it affects the experience of people you're influencing.
For Video Link: CLICK HERE! How To Deal With Loneliness & Emptiness As a self-help and personal development teacher, coach, writer, and speaker I'm not supposed to admit that I still deal with bouts of loneliness and emptiness. Guess what? Most people do no matter what their profession is and no matter how bubbly and happy they always seem to be. The kind of loneliness I mean is the kind that you may feel even when you're surrounded by friends and family. It's not depression and it's not rooted in fear. Is there a NLP process for this? Of course there is, but sometimes I don't feel like NLPing myself. Even that gets old and tiresome sometimes. I'm probably not supposed to write that either. I could write heaps about this, but for your sake and for the sake of my energy level this very moment I'm going to give you a simple non-NLP solution that can easily be explained by NLP (but I'm not going to). Walk it off. Yep, that simple. Go for a walk. Make sure you walk no less than 20 minutes, even better if you walk for 30 minutes or an hour. Give it a try. It won't solve all of your problems, but you will feel better.
Damon Cart
Author
Damon Cart is considered to be a natural talent by some of the best NLP trainers in the world. His approach to guiding and teaching students brings to their awareness that they've been doing NLP all of their lives without realizing it and he empowers them with skills and resources to thrive and reach their full potential. With the understanding of how Neuro Linguistic Programs create oneβs experience a person can then take charge of those programs and create the experience and the life they want. By taking this approach into his own rigorous, daily NLP practice Damon has been able to rapidly accelerate his progress in learning, coaching clients and teaching workshops.
